Grandma Lily's Wit & Wisdom
Page 3


136) Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.
Oscar Levant
  137) Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
David Frost
134) Television can be very educating. Every time someone turns on the set, go into another room and read a book.   135) Journalism largely consists of saying "Lord Jones is Dead" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive. G.K. Chesterton
133) The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else.
George Bernard Shaw

Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.
Prov 12.22
131) Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.
William Makepeace Thackery
  132) Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck
130) Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
Francis Bacon

The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek God. God is in none of his thoughts. Psalm 10.4
128) Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel
  129) As ye smoke, so shall ye reek.
126) Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
Jean Kerr
  127) The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true. James Branch Cabell
125) Sex involves more than your body. There is no condom for your soul. Grandma Lily

Flee sexual immorality!

  • If you commit sexual immorality, you sin against your own body.
  • Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
  • For you were bought at a price! Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.

1 Cor 6.18-20

124) A message for singles - As absence makes your heart grow fonder, so also does ABSTINENCE make your spirit grow stronger. Grandma Lily
123) Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped!
122) Chastity is the flowering of man. Genius, Heroism, Holiness, and the like, are but various fruits which succeed it. Henry David Thoreau
120) I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
  121) It's only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis.
Margaret Bonnano
119) There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. Cicero

Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
1 Cor 1.20
118) We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine. H.L. Mencken
116) You are no bigger than the things that annoy you.
Jerry Bundsen
  117) It's the responsibility of the media to examine politicians with a microscope, but they go too far when they use a proctoscope.
115) Only dead fish swim with the stream.
Malcolm Muggeridge
  (Jesus told His people...) "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." John 15.19
114) The average person thinks he isn't.
Father Larry Lorenzoni
112) No matter what your religion, you should try to become a government program, for then you will have everlasting life.
U.S. Representative Lynn Martin
  113) If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. Dave Barry
111) Astrology is Taurus.

When they say to you, "Seek those who are mediums and wizards, who whisper and mutter," then ask yourself: should not a people seek their God? Isa 8.20a
Q: What is "Dr. Livingstone I Presume"?
A: Full name of Dr. Presume

Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!
108) You can only achieve that for which you aim. If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.
Howard Hendricks

...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3.13b-14
106) Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy
  107) I'm in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
105) There's nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won't aggravate.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Eph 6.4
103) Toots Shor's restaurant is so crowded nobody goes there anymore.
Yogi Berra
  104) More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen
102) Tell the truth and run.
Yugoslavian proverb

Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds (apostates), disapproved concerning the faith 2 Tim 3.8
95) Retirement means twice as much husband and half as much money. 101) Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Erma Bombeck's father
99) If God lived on earth, people would throw rocks through His windows.
Jewish proverb

There is none righteous, no, not one. There is none who understands. There is none who seeks after God.

Their throat is an open tomb. With their tongues they have practiced deceit. The poison of asps is under their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.

  • Their feet are swift to shed blood
  • Destruction and misery are in their ways
  • And the way of peace they have not known.

There is no fear of God before their eyes.
Rom 3.10-11, 3.13-18

97) Time is God's invention -- to keep everything from happening at once.   98) If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In
Song title
96) I don't jog. If I die, I want to be sick.
Abe Lemons

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things 1 Tim 4.8a
94) It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
Howard Ruff
  100) Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony Burgess
93) It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain

For he (the police officer) is God's minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God's minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. Rom 13.4
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