Grandma Lily's Wit & Wisdom
Page 4


Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling. Margaret Lee Runbeck   A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Prov 17.22
The wishbone will never replace the backbone.
Will Henry
The LORD said to Moses, "Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward!"
Exod 14.15
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. Seneca
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
André Gide
  Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?
Frank Scully
The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief. William Shakespeare   If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom 12.20-21
NEVER ask God to grant you all that you deserve. He might give it to you.   You ask, and receive not, because you ask amiss, that you may consume it upon your lusts. Jam 4.3
Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Jam 2.15-16
If you have a lot, give of your wealth. If you have only a little, give of your time. Granny
Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning. Frederick W. Faber
Wait below for he who is above.
Swahili Proverb
  Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. Christ Jesus Luke 18.14b
Don't be humble. You're not that great. Golda Meir   Humility is like underwear -- essential, but indecent if it shows. Helen Nielson
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Howard W. Newton   A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. Ben Franklin
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. Chinese proverb

Two are better than one,
they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together,
They will keep warm.
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another,
Two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Eccl 4.9-12

Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow is half-sorrow. Swedish proverb
Real friendship is shown in time of trouble. Prosperity is full of friends. Euripides
A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself. Frances Ward Weller

Love suffers long and is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,
Is not provoked, thinks no evil;
Does not
rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things,
Endures all things.
Love never fails.
1 Cor 13.4-8a

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous, that you realize just how much you love them. Agatha Christie
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
Robert Heinlein
People need loving the most when they deserve it the least. Mary Crowley
Only two things are infinite -- the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Did it work?
David ...was very much afraid of Achish the king of Gath. So he changed his behavior before him, feigned madness, scratched on the doors of the gate, and let his saliva fall down on his beard.
1 Sam 21.12-13
We are here on earth to do good for others. What the others are here for, I don't know.
W.H. Auden
  I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs! Sam Goldwyn
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.   BUT...
A truthful answer is a kiss on the lips.
Prov 24.26
Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.   Opportunities are never lost; someone else will take the ones you miss.
"Error: Keyboard not found. Press any key to continue." "Windows has detected the mouse has moved. Please restart your system for changes to take effect."
Bessie: "Winston, you're drunk."
Winston: "Bessie, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober." Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock, Member of Parliament
  "No matter. The dead bird does not leave the nest." Winston Churchill - on being told that his fly was open
Never sneak up behind the elephant, never eat the yellow snow, and never ask God for patience.   ...tribulation worketh patience Rom 5.3b
"Google" --a search engine name that is based on "googol," the number 1 followed by 100 zeroes.   "Status quo" - Latin for the mess we're in.
Jeve Moorman
The trouble with using experience as a teacher is that the final exam often comes first, and THEN the lesson.   Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake when you've made it again.

Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard

  Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Alva Edison
Some folks think they hurt the church when they get mad and quit coming.

Wrong! A tree is never hurt when the dead leaves fall off.

They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out that they might be made manifest, that none of them were of us. 1 John 2.19
The proofreader's lament:
When everything's right, nobody notices.
  Some men were born for great things,
Some were born for small;
Some it is not recorded
Why they were born at all.
Will Carleton
  • The size of church attendance on Sunday morning shows the popularity of the church.
  • The size of church attendance on Sunday evening shows the popularity of the pastor.
  • The size of church attendance on Wednesday evening shows the popularity of Jesus.
  An atheist is a person who has no invisible means of support.
John Buchan

You can't even spell church without U.
Therapy is expensive.
Popping bubble wrap is cheap!
You choose.

I majored in liberal arts.

Would you like fries with that?

Sticking your nose into someone else's quarrel is like picking up a growling Doberman by its ears.
Prov 26.17, in Granny's words
  When you're in trouble, putting your trust in an unfaithful man is like chewing meat with a broken tooth, or running a race with your foot out of joint.
Prov 25.19, in Granny's words


  • Grandmother -- a baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator.
  • Father -- someone who has redeemed the money in his wallet for snapshots.
  Why do croutons come in airtight packages? They're just stale bread to begin with.

Not long after the beginning, Satan created an idiot. That was for practice. Then he created bioterrorists.
  As to TV newscasts of Osama Bin whozit...

When you look in his eyes, don't you get the odd feeling that someone else is driving?
Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.   It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others that have been tried. Winston Churchill

Tips for Americans traveling abroad:

  • Carry the Koran
  • Paint a red dot on your forehead
  • Wear sandals
  • Never ask how the Mets are doing

Mark Russell

  I want nothing to do with any religion concerned with keeping the masses satisfied to live in hunger, filth, and ignorance.
Jawaharlal Nehru
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke

When displaying Old Glory's Red, White & Blue, REMEMBER...

These Colors Don't Run!

It takes a woman 20 years to make a man of her son, and another woman 20 minutes to make a fool of him. Helen Rowland The lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is bitter as wormwood Prov 5.3-4a
Too clever is dumb.
German proverb
  The reverse side also has a reverse side.
Japanese proverb
Nature has given us two ears but only one mouth.
Benjamin Disraeli
Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace
Prov 17.28a
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next off-ramp.   Como frijoles? (Spanish for How have you bean?)
An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priests.
Spanish proverb
Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt. And all the people shall say, "Amen!"
Deu 27.16
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
George Herbert
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
Never raise your hand to your children. It leaves your midsection unprotected.
Robert Orben
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. Kenneth Tynan And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Mt 7.3
Better that a girl has beauty than brains, because boys see better than they think.   A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.
Japanese proverb
People who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.   The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office. Robert Frost
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