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Grandma Lily's Wit & Wisdom
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Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever. Be ye fishers of men.
You catch them - God will clean them.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats! The Will of God will never take you
To where the Grace of God will not protect you.

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with M$ Windows. Sometimes happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion. Prov 11.22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD. Prov 18.22

A nurse was showing a patient to his room. "Now," she said, "we want you to be happy and enjoy yourself while here, so if there is anything you want that we haven't got, let me know and I'll show you how to get along without it." "My boy," said a father to his son, "treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one."

Q- Why does it always rain when the Indians do their rain dance?
A- They don't stop dancing till it rains. It is a dangerous thing to ask why someone else has been given more. It is humbling -- and indeed healthy -- to ask why you have been given so much. Condoleeza Rice

Better is a little with the fear of the LORD, Than great treasure with trouble. Prov 15.16 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred. Prov 15.17

Definition: "Religious legalism" -- the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. Mark Twain

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. Satchel Paige Fact: The suicide rate of disabled people is far lower than of those not disabled.

Failure is a detour -- NOT a dead-end street. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Alva Edison

Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel.
Prov 20.17 Do not rob the poor because he is poor, Nor oppress the afflicted at the gate; For the LORD will plead their cause, And plunder the soul of those who plunder them. Prov 22.22-23

August 10, 2003

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

Birthdays are great -- the more you have, the longer you live. I'm six foot eleven. My birthday covers three days.
Darryl Dawkins

Two shorten the road.
Irish proverb Two are better than one. If they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he does not have another to help him. Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? Eccl 4.9a-11

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your daddy is.
Irish proverb The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, nor shall the father bear the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be on him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be on him. Ezek 18.20b

God is good, but never dance in a small boat. Jesus said to him, It is written again, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God." Mt 4.7

'Tis better to buy a small bouquet
And give to thy wife this very day,
Than a bushel of roses white and red
To lay on her coffin after she's dead.

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
Like the loving deer and pleasant doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times,
And be ravished always with her love.
Prov 5.18-19

Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night.
Leo Aikman Jesus said... Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Mt 6.34

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
To err is Human. To really foul things up requires the root password.
The race is not to the swift,
Nor the battle to the strong,
Nor bread to the wise,
Nor riches to men of understanding,
Nor favor to men of skill;
But time and chance happen to them all.
Eccl 9.11

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. Wilson Mizner We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Vince Lombardi

Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout. Irish proverb Aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you 1 Thes 4.11

The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches.
Irish proverb Then Job answered: "I have heard many such things. Miserable comforters are you all! Have windy words no limit? What gives you the right to keep on talking [about how I feel]?" Job 16.1-3

As we slide down the banister of life,
May the splinters never point in the wrong direction. Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Heb 12.1

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Eph 5.15-16

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Bubba, former "prez" of the US of A Even so you outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Mt 23.28

Christian education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22.8

We believe in the old saying, "You can shear a sheep many times but you can only skin it once." Godaddy.com This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system.

If there had been an actual emergency, then you would not have heard this announcement -- you would already be dead.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Plato The law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners 1 Tim 1.9a

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte If you are going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill

640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates, in 1981 The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

How long is a minute? Depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flys like a banana.
Groucho Marx

The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. [God said...] The people of the land have used oppressions, committed robbery, and mistreated the poor and needy; and they wrongfully oppress the stranger. So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one. Ezek 22.29-30

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Geoff Wood If you understood everything I said, you’d be me.
Miles Davis

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? Bob Fuss All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Many Companies would rather lose you as a customer than fix the problem, or even admit that a problem exists. Why do I prefer to deal with Christian-owned companies? Not because they are cheaper, but because they are honest. Papa Tisdale

Only 2 things are needed for a perfect life: WD40 & duct tape...

If it should move, but won't -- use WD40.
If it moves, but shouldn't -- use duct tape.

The difference between *involvement* and *'commitment* is like a eggs-and-ham breakfast...

The chicken is involved
The pig is committed

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Samuel Johnson Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men Col 3.23

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Carl Sagan The average person thinks he isn't.
Father Larry Lorenzoni

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God."
Psalm 14.1a

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford When Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" Mt 14.29-30

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Grandma Lily's Wit & Wisdom Page 7 Navigate
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.		When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.		Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.		Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - God will clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.		God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!		The Will of God will never take you To where the Grace of God will not protect you.
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with M$ Windows.		Sometimes happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion. Prov 11.22		He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD. Prov 18.22
A nurse was showing a patient to his room. "Now," she said, "we want you to be happy and enjoy yourself while here, so if there is anything you want that we haven't got, let me know and I'll show you how to get along without it."		"My boy," said a father to his son, "treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one."
Q- Why does it always rain when the Indians do their rain dance? A- They don't stop dancing till it rains.		It is a dangerous thing to ask why someone else has been given more. It is humbling -- and indeed healthy -- to ask why you have been given so much. Condoleeza Rice
Better is a little with the fear of the LORD, Than great treasure with trouble. Prov 15.16		Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred. Prov 15.17
Definition: "Religious legalism" -- the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.		Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. Mark Twain
Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. Satchel Paige		Fact: The suicide rate of disabled people is far lower than of those not disabled.
Failure is a detour -- NOT a dead-end street.		Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Alva Edison
Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel. Prov 20.17		Do not rob the poor because he is poor, Nor oppress the afflicted at the gate; For the LORD will plead their cause, And plunder the soul of those who plunder them. Prov 22.22-23
August 10, 2003
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.		Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.		Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
Birthdays are great -- the more you have, the longer you live.		I'm six foot eleven. My birthday covers three days. Darryl Dawkins
Two shorten the road. Irish proverb		Two are better than one. If they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he does not have another to help him. Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? Eccl 4.9a-11
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your daddy is. Irish proverb		The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, nor shall the father bear the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be on him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be on him. Ezek 18.20b
God is good, but never dance in a small boat.		Jesus said to him, It is written again, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God." Mt 4.7
'Tis better to buy a small bouquet And give to thy wife this very day, Than a bushel of roses white and red To lay on her coffin after she's dead.		Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. Like the loving deer and pleasant doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times, And be ravished always with her love. Prov 5.18-19
Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night. Leo Aikman		Jesus said... Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Mt 6.34
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. To err is Human. To really foul things up requires the root password.		The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all. Eccl 9.11
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. Wilson Mizner		We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. Vince Lombardi
Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout. Irish proverb		Aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you 1 Thes 4.11
The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches. Irish proverb		Then Job answered: "I have heard many such things. Miserable comforters are you all! Have windy words no limit? What gives you the right to keep on talking [about how I feel]?" Job 16.1-3
As we slide down the banister of life, May the splinters never point in the wrong direction.		Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Heb 12.1
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.		See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Eph 5.15-16
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Bubba, former "prez" of the US of A		Even so you outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Mt 23.28
Christian education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.		Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22.8
We believe in the old saying, "You can shear a sheep many times but you can only skin it once." Godaddy.com		This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. If there had been an actual emergency, then you would not have heard this announcement -- you would already be dead.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Plato		The law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners 1 Tim 1.9a
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte		If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
640K ought to be enough for anybody. Bill Gates, in 1981		The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
How long is a minute? Depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.		Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flys like a banana. Groucho Marx
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.		[God said...] The people of the land have used oppressions, committed robbery, and mistreated the poor and needy; and they wrongfully oppress the stranger. So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one. Ezek 22.29-30
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Geoff Wood		If you understood everything I said, you’d be me. Miles Davis
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? Bob Fuss		All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
Many Companies would rather lose you as a customer than fix the problem, or even admit that a problem exists.		Why do I prefer to deal with Christian-owned companies? Not because they are cheaper, but because they are honest. Papa Tisdale
Only 2 things are needed for a perfect life: WD40 & duct tape... If it should move, but won't -- use WD40. If it moves, but shouldn't -- use duct tape.		*The difference between involvement* and 'commitment is like a eggs-and-ham breakfast... The chicken is involved The pig is committed**
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Samuel Johnson		Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men Col 3.23
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Carl Sagan		The average person thinks he isn't. Father Larry Lorenzoni
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)		The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God." Psalm 14.1a
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Henry Ford		When Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" Mt 14.29-30
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